Let 'em flow

It seems that in the Navigator world, everybody speaks in Meyers Briggs lingo (a personality test). We use it to explain ourselves or other people. "She needs her "I" time" (translation: she's an introvert and needs to refuel). "He's such a "J" (translation: he's always on time, loves to make lists and is organized). I'll add one more to the list - one about me. I'm such an "f"...feeler that is! I'm just going to admit, I'm not afraid of tears. Actually, I'm a sucker...when I see somebody else cry, it's likely that I'll join them. I think they're beautiful because they can reveal a lot about a person. Tears can mean many different things: what means the most to a person, what makes them tick, what hurts them, what they're passionate about. Over the past few weeks, I've sat with women who have cried over the death of a best friend. I've sat with a woman who, at the thought of abortion, cried over the millions of innocent lives have been lost. I've seen people broken over loved ones and friends who don't know Jesus. I've sat with women who have gotten "misty" (I've heard it said that they can't be considered tears if they never venture down the cheeks) over what Christ has done for them. I've heard the pain behind the tears of people struggling with illness. And yes, I've even shed a few of my own over unmet longings and expectations (and perhaps some while watching the "Biggest Loser"...and yes, I just admitted that).
Yesterday was one of those days when I left my house and already felt tired and unmotivated. It was one of those days where I wondered if I was making a difference. My focus was on myself rather than on the One who gives me strength. In the midst of my "me moment", God gave me a gift. As I met with women, I clearly saw God working in their hearts in a way that I could have never made happen. And then I got to see some more "mists". As I sat with one of the girls in the student union, we talked about my birthday. She asked what it felt like to be one year older and then kindly reminded me that I didn't seem "old"! And then tears welled in her eyes as she told me that she was so thankful that I've chosen to be here with the students. I was humbled and honored that she would choose to share her words and tears with me. Humbled that God would give me a glimpse at the work He is doing through me. Humbled that in the midst of me focusing on myself, that God still moves. Honored that I get to share in so many different kinds of tears with people I love.

WORD.

I love it when worlds collide. When God teaches you the same lesson through different means. When you feel like saying "Ok God, I get it...I think I get what you're throwin down". Our current sermon series at church is about the Word. Last week our speaker at Nav Night talked about the importance of the Bible in our daily lives. Ten different students shared verses that have impacted them recently, things that touched them during their personal times with God. This talk was meant to encourage the students and in the mean time jolted me. God speaks so differently to people...and yet so similarly. One by one, as each student shared their heart, I was so encouraged. Encouraged by the way these students seek God. Encouraged that God spoke to each student in a unique way. Encouraged that God would use their words to speak to me. Encouraged to see how God moves. Encouraged by the fact that His Word is living and active and changes lives. Encouraged by the fact that they don't keep the Word to themselves...Mike shared..then Ken shared something that Mike had shared with him...and then Kyle shared how Ken had shared something with him. The domino affect...gotta love it.
One of the vereses that struck me was Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in pefect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you". As usual, God's timing was right on. He knew what I'd been carrying around with me...stuff I should have trusted him with weeks ago. I've been meditating on that verse for a few days...and probably will for a few more. I've been amazingly refreshed...and it all came from students who were willing to use their words to share God's Word.
Here are a few more that were shared that night: Psalm 16:11, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, 1 John 4:19, Isaiah 1:18, Romans 8:32. Go check 'em out...and let the domino affect continue.

New Title

I'm an AUNT! :) Owen Theordore McHugh made his debut on January 25 at 4:50am. I'm amazed at how much you can be in love with somebody you just met! He's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. They had to pry him out of my hands a few times. I'm ok with being considered a baby hog! He seemed so small and then I realized he had been inside my sister and I began to think he was kinda big! Owen is so blessed to have Brynne and Brian as parents. They will do an amazing job. I loved watching them look at him...if I feel like I'm in love with him, I can't image what they're going through! I'm not exaggerating when I say this...there was an afternoon this week when I could hardly get work done because I couldn't stop thinking about him and anytime anybody would come into my apartment I'd show them the picture I was staring at!
I decided to brag on him and show him off!

Reason

Last Friday I had my office in Panera! I loved it because while I was there meeting with girls, I saw other students there reading their Bibles with each other. It just made me smile. I have such a great job!

As I sat with my girls, we one of the things we talked about was praise. It’s been a theme in my life. There’s a song called "Desert Song" by Hillsong that’s been stuck in my head. My roommate is surely sick of it because it’s on repeat so often on the iPod dock (like right now!). There’s a line in it that I just can’t get past. I’ve given a lot of thought to it.

“All of my life in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.”

Why do I have a reason to worship? At first I started thinking of the things God has given to me. And then I realized that so often we worship God because of what we have. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing – I’ve been hit recently with how blessed I truly am (I’ll blog about that later!). But at the same time, it can become a problem. God is to be worshipped not just for what He has done, but for WHO HE IS. He’s faithful, He’s Creator, He’s merciful, He’s sovereign, He’s Emmanuel, He’s Savior…I mean, the list could go on and on. Those are just a few that God has been showing me recently.

Since it’s been on my mind, I decided to ask the girls why they have a reason to worship. They had beautiful responses. Her eyes began to swell up with tears as one of the girls simply said “He saved me and has forgiven me”. My other student immediately said “He’s given me life”. I loved their responses because they didn’t give trite, “christianese” answers. They were clearly heartfelt. What an amazing gift we have – we DO have a reason to worship..in EVERY season of life God is still God.

What about you…why do you have a reason to worship? What characteristics of God have you seen recently?

Naming Your Year

Each year is a chance for some new beginnings. It’s a chance to ask God what HE wants for your year. Last year I took some time to ask God what He would want to do in my life and asked Him to give me a word for the year. As I prayed and read scripture, I was led to the story of Lazarus and was struck by the phrase “Come Forth”. That was the name God gave me for the year. As I look back on the year I see that God did so many things to bring me forth out of fears, insecurities and had me try some new things. And when I hit tough patches, I was able to go back to that word and be reminded of who God was and what He could do…I wasn’t at it alone.

So this year I again asked God what He wanted this year to be for me. I was brought to Habakkuk 3:17-19

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will REJOICE in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my STRENGTH; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he ENABLES me to go on the heights.”

There are so many times when I can look at things in my life and let myself be discouraged. I have the wrong perspective and choose to focus on circumstance rather than on God. God gave me the word REJOICE for this year. When life isn’t the way I want it, when things aren’t going the way I planned, I have a choice to make. And this year I am believing God to give me the strength to choose rejoicing. To train me to look for things to rejoice in. Sometimes I miss those moments because I’m not looking. I want to believe that God is good in the midst of ALL things. So I’m praying that He will do a work in my heart this year that will enable me to choose joy. I love that word ENABLE…by his strength I will be able to do greater things. In Megan's strength (as good as I think it is sometimes!) I will never be able to do this. God has to show up. He will strengthen me and enable me to do things I’ve never done before. God’s already brought opportunities where I have had a chance to test this out! I know this ride won't be easy, but it’s been amazing to see what He has already begun to do in my heart.

If you’re interested in “naming your year”, I would encourage you to try it out. My friend, Leah, introduced this to me and she learned it from a church in Pittsburgh. Here is a link to the pastor’s blog…his words can explain it much more eloquently that mine!

http://jeffleake.typepad.com/the_launchpad/2009/01/steps-to-name-your-year.html

If you do decide to do it, please let me know…I’d love to hear about it and believe God with you for big things this year!

Reminders

Over the past few weeks, God has gone out of his way to remind me of His love for me. I’m humbled, because it’s so undeserved. And I’ve realized it’s even a gift that he shows me tangible ways that He loves me.

One of those ways happened was while I was at church a few weeks ago. For a few days prior to the service God had put the hymn “Solid Rock” on my heart. I mean, I couldn’t get that first line out of my head (it’s a zinger!). Before I left for church I had a little chat with God and simply said that it would be awesome if we sang that song at church. I kinda laughed at myself. God must have been chuckling too because we sang that song at church (and I later found out that it’s not a song they normally sing). Tears streamed down my face as I was reminded that God loves me – more than any human love can give. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to show us that – something as immense as dying on the cross and something as small as playing a song for me. I’ve come back to that moment over and over again during the past two weeks. When I’m tempted to believe things that aren’t true about myself or about God, I think of that moment (it still makes me a little giddy and I’m not gonna lie, even brings a tear or two sometimes). I remind myself of God’s unfailing love for me. God gives us reminders because unfortunately we so often forget. I get so frustrated with those Israelites because they would get manna EVERY day and yet still freak out and wonder if they would have food again the next day. How could they forget day by day? And then I see myself in those Israelites…don’t ya just love when that happens?! It brings me back to a place of thankfulness and of complete dependence on God. In my own strength I can’t even remind myself of His love…the Holy Spirit does it all. My new motto for this semester is “Day by Day”. I’ll take this one step at a time and daily open my ears to recognize those reminders.

Exodus 15:13 "In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.”

Unexpected Favorites

Don't you love it when you have an expectation that gets blown out of the water? Something bigger and better than you thought it could be? It's safe to say that's happened to me twice over the past few weeks.

I'm helping to lead a bible study for seniors this year (a few of them are pictured here...they chose an "awkward pose" for this picture!). Before the semester began, I have to be honest...I wasn't overly excited about this study. The study is called Five Aspects of Woman - a Biblical Theology on Femininity. It's an intense curriculum, I felt inadequate in leading it and didn't know how I'd have time for it. It's a month into the study and I can honestly say that this might be my most favorite thing about the semester! This group of women come prepared and are excited to discuss. I have seen them grasp truth in major ways. One of the girls excitedly shared how she felt so empowered to make a difference in the areas of her life that God has given her authority over. It's fun to watch them realize that they have many giftings as women and have the ability to move in strength in those giftings. I love using my home each week to host them. I also love it because it brings together girls who don't normally spend time together. It's a joy to watch them interact and enjoy each other.

For part of my training curriculum with The Navs, I am in a study about the Gospel. We are reading a book by Jerry Bridges The Gospel for Real Life. I'll be honest here, I wasn't excited to read this book. I mean, I love Jerry Bridges, but again, I didn't know how to fit it in...plus I always start books and never finish them! Let me just say that this book is one of the most impacting books I've ever read. I thought I knew what the Gospel was. Well, I did...but I had such a small view of it. As believers, we sometimes think that we need to Gospel to be saved and then we put it on a shelf for when we want to help somebody else come to know Jesus. We're missing out and not living the way God has intended when we do that. If we let the true enormity of the Gospel impact our lives EVERY day, we would be utterly amazed at our ability to love and be loved...to live in true freedom. This book started out by taking a look at our sinfulness and God's holiness...and it makes you realize again just how much we didn't deserve what Christ did on the cross. It then takes every part of the Gospel and breaks it down...God's justice, God's mercy, God's wrath, Redemption, etc. Here's an excerpt that has my mind reeling:

"Have you ever thought about the wonderful truth that Christ lived His perfect life in your place and on your behalf? Has it yet gripped you that when God looks at you today He sees you clothed in the perfect, sinless obedience of His Son? And that when He says, "This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well please," He includes you in that warm embrace? The extent to which we truly understand this is the extent to which we will begin to enjoy those unsearchable riches that are found in Christ."

Do you let shame have a grip in your life, or are you able to embrace the truth about how God sees you? I'm not saying I've arrived or have fully let God's love penetrate every area of my heart...but by God's grace, I'm learning! It's hard, especially when I thought I knew it all! I'm Italian, what can I say?!!!