Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Let 'em flow

It seems that in the Navigator world, everybody speaks in Meyers Briggs lingo (a personality test). We use it to explain ourselves or other people. "She needs her "I" time" (translation: she's an introvert and needs to refuel). "He's such a "J" (translation: he's always on time, loves to make lists and is organized). I'll add one more to the list - one about me. I'm such an "f"...feeler that is! I'm just going to admit, I'm not afraid of tears. Actually, I'm a sucker...when I see somebody else cry, it's likely that I'll join them. I think they're beautiful because they can reveal a lot about a person. Tears can mean many different things: what means the most to a person, what makes them tick, what hurts them, what they're passionate about. Over the past few weeks, I've sat with women who have cried over the death of a best friend. I've sat with a woman who, at the thought of abortion, cried over the millions of innocent lives have been lost. I've seen people broken over loved ones and friends who don't know Jesus. I've sat with women who have gotten "misty" (I've heard it said that they can't be considered tears if they never venture down the cheeks) over what Christ has done for them. I've heard the pain behind the tears of people struggling with illness. And yes, I've even shed a few of my own over unmet longings and expectations (and perhaps some while watching the "Biggest Loser"...and yes, I just admitted that).
Yesterday was one of those days when I left my house and already felt tired and unmotivated. It was one of those days where I wondered if I was making a difference. My focus was on myself rather than on the One who gives me strength. In the midst of my "me moment", God gave me a gift. As I met with women, I clearly saw God working in their hearts in a way that I could have never made happen. And then I got to see some more "mists". As I sat with one of the girls in the student union, we talked about my birthday. She asked what it felt like to be one year older and then kindly reminded me that I didn't seem "old"! And then tears welled in her eyes as she told me that she was so thankful that I've chosen to be here with the students. I was humbled and honored that she would choose to share her words and tears with me. Humbled that God would give me a glimpse at the work He is doing through me. Humbled that in the midst of me focusing on myself, that God still moves. Honored that I get to share in so many different kinds of tears with people I love.

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