In the eyes of the Beholder

A few years ago I went to the Andy Warhol museum in Pittsburgh. I figured since I’d lived in Pittsburgh my entire life and had never been there, it should happen. I walked around and didn’t get his art work – at all. This summer I went to the National Art Museum in Washington, DC. Again, I saw lots of art that I just didn’t understand. And when we got to the modern section I laughed because some of the pieces seemed absurd to me. Who gets to call strokes of paint an expensive masterpiece? On the other hand, when we got to other sections of the museum and saw works by other artists, I did enjoy it. And a few weeks ago I was in a student’s house and saw some of her paintings (that she popped out in one afternoon) and was amazed.

In church right now, our pastor is doing a series on Ephesians 2:1-10. Verse 10 has always struck me. One version says we are God’s masterpiece. Somedays I don’t feel like a masterpiece. Tonight it hit me again. It doesn’t matter what I think. Just like it’s not up to me to decide the value or worth of a piece of art, it’s not up to me to decide my value. The value comes from the artist, the creator. My take on a piece of art, my opinion does not change the fact that it IS a masterpiece (lucky for Andy Warhol!). My opinion of myself some days does NOT change the fact that my Creator looks at me and is delighted. I’m so glad my thoughts on this matter don’t matter! I can’t change His mind – even if I try hard to do so.

And this brings me to the second part of the verse that somehow I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about. He has created me as His masterpiece so that I can do good works that he has prepared for me to do. Not good works that will determine my worth (b/c my worth isn’t dependent on my works), but good works that will point people to Him. When I live as if I have no worth, it affects the way I do things. I live in fear and shrink back. I try to earn my worth by the things I do – so my “good works” are about bringing me recognition. However, if I would live as the way God sees me, if I would believe that I am his masterpiece, my actions would be transformed. I would walk in boldness. I would not care about the pat on the back or about what others thought of me. I would do things not so that I would feel better about myself, but because God asks me to. I would not have a bad attitude about doing the “little” things that nobody will ever see. Somedays I feel like He doesn’t have good things for me to do – those are for everybody else. If I believed my truth worth and value, I would see that He does have things just for me to do. I wouldn’t have to compare my good works with others’ because my worth isn’t based on theirs!

I need to chew on this for a while because it will affect the way I do ministry (and the ways I feel I need to impress people by what I do), the way I do life. It will affect the way I love people, the way I see them. It will rock my world of pride.

Tonight I am taken aback by my Beholder. It's time to stop arguing with Him about His creation.

Victorious

Last week I had the privilege of speaking at our Nav Night. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time, but could never quite muster the courage to do it....a group of 200 is a bit different than a group of 30! I figured enough is enough...I needed to step out! God was so faithful by not only filling me an amazing peace, but by also opening the ears of the students to hear His truth.
I started out by showing this video by Francis Chan. I began by sharing reasons why I believe we cling to that balance beam (gotta watch the video to figure out what I'm talking about!). I believe it's fear of failure, fear of past mistakes, fear of people (fearing them more than we fear God) and finally I believe we don't rely on the power of the Holy Spirit.

I heard a sermon while I was in Pittsburgh over Christmas. It got me thinking about how so many Christians live as if they need to do their faith on their own, they don't truly rely on the gift of the Holy Spirit. And by "they", I guess I mean me! I try harder and harder and then fail and wonder why. And I began to realize something. Ephesians 1:13 says that we each have the Holy Spirit in us once we believe. And John 16:13 talks about how the Holy Spirit leads us into all truth. And Romans 8:11 says the same Spirit that rose Christ from the dead lives in us. So, if we believe, we have the power of the Holy Spirit in us. And not just any power, it's the power that rose Christ from the dead. Read that last sentence again...it's powerful. It's not about more determination, it's about relying on the power of Christ that has already overcome everything. I love Chris Tomlin's song "I Will Rise". It says "Jesus has overcome and the grave is overwhelmed, the victory is won, he is risen from the dead". How amazing. We have victory because Christ was victorious. We are more than conquerors because Christ conquered death.

So, do we live as though we need more determination or do we live in the truth knowing that the power of Christ is in us that will enable us to be victorious in our every day life?

It's a daily thing for me. A daily reminder that I need Christ that day. A daily reminder that I need him in order to have victory in my day. I'm nothing without him, it's not about me. Takes me back to my theme verse, Habakkuk 3:19 - HIS strength enables me to go on the heights.

I ended the evening with the song "Stronger" by Hillsong. It's one of my new faves. We don't need to break our sin patterns or conquer our fears on our own. Believe that the One who is STRONGER has given us everything we need, through his incomparable power, for life and godliness.

Dance on..and on...and on...and on

This weekend was a big weekend at Penn State. A weekend students wait for all year - the annual dance marathon...better known as THON. It's the largest student-run philanthropy in the world! THON is a year-long effort that raises funds and awareness for the fight against pediatric cancer and the culmination is this weekend. This year they raised a record-breaking $7.49 million!! 700 student "dancers" stand on their feet for 46 hours straight...no sitting, no sleeping (needless to say, people go a little delerious). It's a remarkable thing to see..I don't think words can even do it justice. I remember being a student and wanting to dance (I even tried to climb under the fence to get onto the floor...only to be immediately caught and sent back under!!). Ten years later I wonder how I could have even entertained the thought..I need my sleep!
This year Navs had 4 of our own dancers (two of them are pictured here in green...the girls are in the middle of one of the dances!). They were champs! We even made the front page of the student newspaper. We also had the priviledge of having a THON family this year. The family has a 12-year-old son, Mac, who was diangosed with a brain tumor last January. Our students got to know the family pretty well over the past few months and they were here the entire weekend. It's been an incredible opportunity for the students to love on the family and show them Christ during this difficult time. There are hundreds of families who are like Mac's family who are impacted by THON (they receive money from the funds raised that help to cover medical bills that insurance doesn't cover). It is heart wrenching to look out on the dance floor and see children with little hats on, to cover the fact that they have lost their hair. And yet at the same time, it's heart warming because they are having a blast running around the floor playing with the students. I'm so proud of our students and the ways they have loved Mac and his parents. And by doing that they have shown them Jesus. They kept Christ at the center of everything they did this weekend. Did I mention how proud I am of them?!

30 + 1

I spent a lot of time dreading the big 3-0. I can remember a day, 6 months BEFORE my birthday, when I woke up from a nap in a complete panic. "I'm going to be 30, my 20's will be gone, I'm getting old!" I vividly remember my father's 30th surprise birthday party. It was an "Over the Hill" party. And I truly did think he was old. So, I was amazed that it was my turn.
I got to a point where I decided that I was going to celebrate this day, not dread it. So I entered into my thirties with a bang...I took a trip to Hawaii! I went with two wonderful friends. It was the most amazing trip of my life...the beauty amazed me and I often verbally reminded us that we weren't dreaming, but in fact were in Hawaii. Before I left, my friends told me I needed to do something every day that scared me. I took ther challenge and met it! We surfed, we snorkeled, we went parasailing, went for a helicopter tour, rented mopeds, ate shrimp from a truck on the side of the road (who knew sketchy could be so good?), tried on a $107,000 ring at Tiffany's, got up and did some hoola dancing in front of a large crowd (which is way harder than it looks, those women have mad skills!), had a picnic on the beach...you name it, we did it! What a way to start this decade of life.
Somewhere along the line during this year, something changed. I LOVED being 30. I had worried for so long and instead was blown away this year. Maybe it's the ring of it...I love saying "I'm 30". Maybe it's the shock of it (I still look like I'm 22). Maybe it's realizing I'm more mature. But I also think it was seeing the blessings that God brought this year...he made the year more than I could have asked or imagined.
I found myself getting anxious about officially being in my thirties. And then remembered what God has done in the past year. I love that word - Remember. I don't think I often take enough time to do jus that. I forget to remember! God called the Israelites to remember a lot. It helped them see God's faithfulness, it helped them remember who He was and what He was capable of doing, it helped them press on. Even as I write this, I'm speaking to myself yet again! I can be excited about what is to come. I know God's character and I know what He is capable of. So, I look forward to this next year, 30+1 (I can't quite bring myself to say 31 yet), with anticipation for what God will do in and through me.

Came and Went

Before I lived in Colorado, I thought it was normal to have gloomy days for a few months straight. Then I learned what it was like to have sunshine nearly 300 days out of the year. And life will never be the same! I love being near family and friends, but why can't we just move Colorado here?!
My roommate and I needed a little pick-me-up and bought some crocuses a few weeks ago. They started to bloom and we have been enjoying our own little spring in right in our kitchen. For a few days this week State College had "spring" not just in our kitchen, but outside. Sunshine. Warm weather (for a few brave (or stupid) souls, it was even shorts weather). Birds chirping. Melted snow. I knew it was too good to be true, and yet there was part of me that hoped maybe it was here to stay. Last night brought some rather gusty winds...and with it the freezing weather. It was all a tease. It wasn't as cold as the picture makes it look (I took it from my front window a few weeks ago), but the wind sure did make it feel pretty darn close...it chills me to the bone. And so I'll bundle back up and put my bright pink hat back on and cuddle under my big, brown, fuzzy blanket for another two months or so. And in the mean time enjoy the beauty of the snow we'll surely get before now and the real deal. And maybe just pretend I'm back in Colorado with all the sun. Actually, if I'm going to pretend, I should aim for something even better...Hawaii, where I'd get sun AND warmth :)

So far...

Here's a glimpse into the past few weeks:


Dinner at the Corner Room with "B Stud"


Standing on frozen water at our winter retreat (yes, those would be cracks beneath their feet)


200 Students gathered for a regional conference. Times of worship were my favorite part.


The beautiful sunset over the Maryland Bay..I ventured out onto that ice to get this shot..maybe not the smartest move, but worth it!

Let 'em flow

It seems that in the Navigator world, everybody speaks in Meyers Briggs lingo (a personality test). We use it to explain ourselves or other people. "She needs her "I" time" (translation: she's an introvert and needs to refuel). "He's such a "J" (translation: he's always on time, loves to make lists and is organized). I'll add one more to the list - one about me. I'm such an "f"...feeler that is! I'm just going to admit, I'm not afraid of tears. Actually, I'm a sucker...when I see somebody else cry, it's likely that I'll join them. I think they're beautiful because they can reveal a lot about a person. Tears can mean many different things: what means the most to a person, what makes them tick, what hurts them, what they're passionate about. Over the past few weeks, I've sat with women who have cried over the death of a best friend. I've sat with a woman who, at the thought of abortion, cried over the millions of innocent lives have been lost. I've seen people broken over loved ones and friends who don't know Jesus. I've sat with women who have gotten "misty" (I've heard it said that they can't be considered tears if they never venture down the cheeks) over what Christ has done for them. I've heard the pain behind the tears of people struggling with illness. And yes, I've even shed a few of my own over unmet longings and expectations (and perhaps some while watching the "Biggest Loser"...and yes, I just admitted that).
Yesterday was one of those days when I left my house and already felt tired and unmotivated. It was one of those days where I wondered if I was making a difference. My focus was on myself rather than on the One who gives me strength. In the midst of my "me moment", God gave me a gift. As I met with women, I clearly saw God working in their hearts in a way that I could have never made happen. And then I got to see some more "mists". As I sat with one of the girls in the student union, we talked about my birthday. She asked what it felt like to be one year older and then kindly reminded me that I didn't seem "old"! And then tears welled in her eyes as she told me that she was so thankful that I've chosen to be here with the students. I was humbled and honored that she would choose to share her words and tears with me. Humbled that God would give me a glimpse at the work He is doing through me. Humbled that in the midst of me focusing on myself, that God still moves. Honored that I get to share in so many different kinds of tears with people I love.

WORD.

I love it when worlds collide. When God teaches you the same lesson through different means. When you feel like saying "Ok God, I get it...I think I get what you're throwin down". Our current sermon series at church is about the Word. Last week our speaker at Nav Night talked about the importance of the Bible in our daily lives. Ten different students shared verses that have impacted them recently, things that touched them during their personal times with God. This talk was meant to encourage the students and in the mean time jolted me. God speaks so differently to people...and yet so similarly. One by one, as each student shared their heart, I was so encouraged. Encouraged by the way these students seek God. Encouraged that God spoke to each student in a unique way. Encouraged that God would use their words to speak to me. Encouraged to see how God moves. Encouraged by the fact that His Word is living and active and changes lives. Encouraged by the fact that they don't keep the Word to themselves...Mike shared..then Ken shared something that Mike had shared with him...and then Kyle shared how Ken had shared something with him. The domino affect...gotta love it.
One of the vereses that struck me was Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in pefect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you". As usual, God's timing was right on. He knew what I'd been carrying around with me...stuff I should have trusted him with weeks ago. I've been meditating on that verse for a few days...and probably will for a few more. I've been amazingly refreshed...and it all came from students who were willing to use their words to share God's Word.
Here are a few more that were shared that night: Psalm 16:11, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, 1 John 4:19, Isaiah 1:18, Romans 8:32. Go check 'em out...and let the domino affect continue.

New Title

I'm an AUNT! :) Owen Theordore McHugh made his debut on January 25 at 4:50am. I'm amazed at how much you can be in love with somebody you just met! He's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. They had to pry him out of my hands a few times. I'm ok with being considered a baby hog! He seemed so small and then I realized he had been inside my sister and I began to think he was kinda big! Owen is so blessed to have Brynne and Brian as parents. They will do an amazing job. I loved watching them look at him...if I feel like I'm in love with him, I can't image what they're going through! I'm not exaggerating when I say this...there was an afternoon this week when I could hardly get work done because I couldn't stop thinking about him and anytime anybody would come into my apartment I'd show them the picture I was staring at!
I decided to brag on him and show him off!

Reason

Last Friday I had my office in Panera! I loved it because while I was there meeting with girls, I saw other students there reading their Bibles with each other. It just made me smile. I have such a great job!

As I sat with my girls, we one of the things we talked about was praise. It’s been a theme in my life. There’s a song called "Desert Song" by Hillsong that’s been stuck in my head. My roommate is surely sick of it because it’s on repeat so often on the iPod dock (like right now!). There’s a line in it that I just can’t get past. I’ve given a lot of thought to it.

“All of my life in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.”

Why do I have a reason to worship? At first I started thinking of the things God has given to me. And then I realized that so often we worship God because of what we have. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing – I’ve been hit recently with how blessed I truly am (I’ll blog about that later!). But at the same time, it can become a problem. God is to be worshipped not just for what He has done, but for WHO HE IS. He’s faithful, He’s Creator, He’s merciful, He’s sovereign, He’s Emmanuel, He’s Savior…I mean, the list could go on and on. Those are just a few that God has been showing me recently.

Since it’s been on my mind, I decided to ask the girls why they have a reason to worship. They had beautiful responses. Her eyes began to swell up with tears as one of the girls simply said “He saved me and has forgiven me”. My other student immediately said “He’s given me life”. I loved their responses because they didn’t give trite, “christianese” answers. They were clearly heartfelt. What an amazing gift we have – we DO have a reason to worship..in EVERY season of life God is still God.

What about you…why do you have a reason to worship? What characteristics of God have you seen recently?

Naming Your Year

Each year is a chance for some new beginnings. It’s a chance to ask God what HE wants for your year. Last year I took some time to ask God what He would want to do in my life and asked Him to give me a word for the year. As I prayed and read scripture, I was led to the story of Lazarus and was struck by the phrase “Come Forth”. That was the name God gave me for the year. As I look back on the year I see that God did so many things to bring me forth out of fears, insecurities and had me try some new things. And when I hit tough patches, I was able to go back to that word and be reminded of who God was and what He could do…I wasn’t at it alone.

So this year I again asked God what He wanted this year to be for me. I was brought to Habakkuk 3:17-19

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will REJOICE in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my STRENGTH; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he ENABLES me to go on the heights.”

There are so many times when I can look at things in my life and let myself be discouraged. I have the wrong perspective and choose to focus on circumstance rather than on God. God gave me the word REJOICE for this year. When life isn’t the way I want it, when things aren’t going the way I planned, I have a choice to make. And this year I am believing God to give me the strength to choose rejoicing. To train me to look for things to rejoice in. Sometimes I miss those moments because I’m not looking. I want to believe that God is good in the midst of ALL things. So I’m praying that He will do a work in my heart this year that will enable me to choose joy. I love that word ENABLE…by his strength I will be able to do greater things. In Megan's strength (as good as I think it is sometimes!) I will never be able to do this. God has to show up. He will strengthen me and enable me to do things I’ve never done before. God’s already brought opportunities where I have had a chance to test this out! I know this ride won't be easy, but it’s been amazing to see what He has already begun to do in my heart.

If you’re interested in “naming your year”, I would encourage you to try it out. My friend, Leah, introduced this to me and she learned it from a church in Pittsburgh. Here is a link to the pastor’s blog…his words can explain it much more eloquently that mine!

http://jeffleake.typepad.com/the_launchpad/2009/01/steps-to-name-your-year.html

If you do decide to do it, please let me know…I’d love to hear about it and believe God with you for big things this year!

Reminders

Over the past few weeks, God has gone out of his way to remind me of His love for me. I’m humbled, because it’s so undeserved. And I’ve realized it’s even a gift that he shows me tangible ways that He loves me.

One of those ways happened was while I was at church a few weeks ago. For a few days prior to the service God had put the hymn “Solid Rock” on my heart. I mean, I couldn’t get that first line out of my head (it’s a zinger!). Before I left for church I had a little chat with God and simply said that it would be awesome if we sang that song at church. I kinda laughed at myself. God must have been chuckling too because we sang that song at church (and I later found out that it’s not a song they normally sing). Tears streamed down my face as I was reminded that God loves me – more than any human love can give. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to show us that – something as immense as dying on the cross and something as small as playing a song for me. I’ve come back to that moment over and over again during the past two weeks. When I’m tempted to believe things that aren’t true about myself or about God, I think of that moment (it still makes me a little giddy and I’m not gonna lie, even brings a tear or two sometimes). I remind myself of God’s unfailing love for me. God gives us reminders because unfortunately we so often forget. I get so frustrated with those Israelites because they would get manna EVERY day and yet still freak out and wonder if they would have food again the next day. How could they forget day by day? And then I see myself in those Israelites…don’t ya just love when that happens?! It brings me back to a place of thankfulness and of complete dependence on God. In my own strength I can’t even remind myself of His love…the Holy Spirit does it all. My new motto for this semester is “Day by Day”. I’ll take this one step at a time and daily open my ears to recognize those reminders.

Exodus 15:13 "In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.”