Monday, June 23, 2008

Mercy

Have you ever driven somewhere and then wondered how you actually got there? Might sound crazy, but sometimes when I’m driving to a familiar place I kinda go into auto-driver mode. I don’t pay attention to the drive, I zone out…and then just end up at the final destination. I feel like that’s what happened to me last week. The week flew by so quickly and at the end of the week I realized I was just going through the motions…at times forgetting why I’m doing what I’m doing. It hit me for two reasons. I’m at this unique place this summer-having the opportunity to really live with students. And yet I wasn’t letting myself enjoy the moment-sitting and enjoying a simple conversation, taking in the sound of multiple small groups around me pray together, look around the room and watch people laugh together, shut my eyes and listen to a group of 50 people praise the Lord. And the other reason it bothered me was because I was trying to “do” things to make myself feel better about who I am. In a sense, trying to earn God’s love…and yet never really sitting down to just spend time with Him.
Our Bible study last week focused on Ephesians 2:1-10. I’ve read the passage so many times and as I dug a little deeper, something hit me in a new way. I didn’t do a thing to deserve salvation, it wasn’t based on my abilities. Now that I’ve received this wonderful gift, why in the world do I think that I have to earn God’s love by what I do? I don’t have to jump through hoops for him. He gives me his great love (the word in this passage refers to agape love) and He is rich in mercy (the greek word is “plousios” meaning abounding, wealthy, abundantly supplied. One commentary talked about it being exhaustless). What an amazing truth I can rest in. I don’t have to strive or do things perfectly or try to be the best at my job. I can relax in his exhaustless mercy!